Priorities
by Judith Spence
No matter how busy we are we will all need to set priorities in our lives regarding what we spend most of our time and energy on. Without them we will struggle to set boundaries.
As believers our first priority is God. The first commandment is “you shall have no other gods before me”. The word “gods” means anything or anyone else that is raised up to a position of pre-eminence in your life. It includes our family, our jobs, our health, our church, our ministry, our finances, sports team, pets, absolutely anything else in our lives. Our next priority is our spouse, then our children, after that comes our work and then church. Other important areas such as our wider family slot into different places depending upon circumstances.
When we maintain our priorities, albeit not religiously, boundaries are put in place without us even thinking. Our spouses will know that God comes before them yet they will feel cherished because they know that to us they are more important than any other mortal. Our children will feel secure that their parents have set their relationship above other things and will have a good model for their future – they will also be more aware of their boundaries concerning you and your spouse and this will add to their feelings of security. I have come across many second marriages where the children are placed above the new spouse in the unwritten list of priorities. All three parties are aware of it and outwardly it looks as though only the new spouse is suffering but in fact because of un-Godly order in the home everyone suffers. Ideally all concerned should work to redress the balance otherwise the new relationship is on a rocky foundation.
Our paid work, while quite a way down the list from God, is placed above church because we have a responsibility to honour our commitments and contracts. This is particularly important if we are in the habit of reaching out to non-Christians at work. As ambassadors for the Lord our behaviour, including prioritising and setting of boundaries, is the best means of witnessing we have. A problem I have encountered from time to time is when people get confused between God and their work for God. Our relationship with God is not dependent upon our work for Him but our work for Him relies upon our relationship with Him. Our work for God, or ministry, can take many forms but none of them should come before our spouse or children (1Tim 3). A common gripe we hear from ministers children is that they feel that the church is more important to their parents than they are. Quite frankly God could find someone else to do His work but He has placed each of us with our families and they are our prime mission field whether they know Him or not.
Let’s try to keep a healthy list of priorities and boundaries in our lives.
