What are the limits?
by Sandra Nwangwu
This is a question that has been asked many times! However, looking at the Bible there are no hard and fast guidelines or standard of procedure. But, we could start with the most obvious and try to work our way through the grey areas. We have established that sex in whatever form is not permissible, whilst things like kissing and touching seem to be OK, this can lead you into more grey areas. The book of Songs repeatedly employs readers to not arouse or awaken sexual desires until it is appropriate, so any act that strongly arouses such desires is not the best to engage in (Songs 2:7, 3:5, 7:4).
Therefore you need to put boundaries in place so that both of you know what is expected. It could be that lying on your bed together is not a good place, or watching TV programs that increase your desire for one another, french kissing, touching places on your partners body that will increase the chances of sexual activity.
Above all, be sure to talk to God about all these issues all the time. Talk to Him out loud when you are alone and in your mind – have a conversation with Him when you are not alone. Be totally honest with God and tell Him exactly how it is, holding nothing back.
God will not condemn you because He loves you and He knows your heart and your intentions. Simply seek or desire to lead a life that is pleasing to God and constantly ask Him for help, strength and wisdom. Especially wisdom because no human can answer all your questions and even if anyone could, they most probably could not answer totally and wholesomely correctly.
