Dealing with Adultery
by Sandra Nwangwu
The hurt and pain that comes with adultery is something that no one should have to go through and it is most difficult to deal with. But the truth remains that it can be prevented/avoided and if somehow it still happens, it can be dealt with and in some cases reconciliation and restoration are possible. Let’s start with looking at the early warning signs and measures that we should put in place to guard against adultery.
In this section we will be deailing with:
What to do if your partner commits adultery?
I have committed adultery and I’m truly sorry.
Early warning signs
In truth, there are instances where people fall into adultery without seeing it coming. In other words, there are instances where people commit adultery without originally intending to do so. Suddenly, they find themselves in too deep emotionally or overly emotionally attached to someone else besides their spouse. The question is how is this possible or how does this happen?
It sometimes starts in small unresolved issues which consequently make the home a little less comfortable, coupled with a seemingly harmless and platonic but close friendship with a person of the opposite sex. Now, the Bible does not forbid close friendship relations between persons of opposite sex, whether married or single as the case may be. However, it is important to operate in wisdom and a sharp sense of reality when dealing with such issues. It is wise to know and understand that married people especially need to be wary of friendships with members of the opposite sex because temptations are more likely to arise when there are marital problems. Think about it for a moment, if a man's best friend is a woman who is not his wife, he is likely to share these problems with her, which can lead to an unhealthy emotional attachment and vice versa. So, when a friendship begins to lead to moments of sharing deep heart felt problems and or giving or receiving significant levels of attention, it is most probably, a ‘red indicator’ that unhealthy emotional attachments are starting to creep in.
Placing safe guards
The Bible does clearly tell us to run away from temptation especially the temptation of sexual immorality (I Corinthians 6:18). The reason for this advice is that it is much easier to run away or keep away from temptation than to stick around and try to fight it. And we know that trying to fight temptation seems to become especially difficult when it comes to matters of the heart.
In sum, married men and women should carefully avoid putting themselves in compromising situations when it comes to the opposite sex. If they are seen together in public, it will give the wrong impression. If they are alone on the phone or in person, they will subject themselves to the temptation of an emotional or physical affair. Therefore, it is best to stick to ‘double-dating’ with other couples (married, engaged or simply dating), having mutual friends and being careful to always communicate with your spouse.
